Dancin Disasters
by Clarinet Killer
Summary: What do you get when you mix Spongebob, Sandy, Patrick, and ice cream? Squidward, his awful clarinet music, and a cheesy rent-a-date? Find out here! Chapter 2 now updated! This is my first fanfic so be completely honest and please R&R.
1. Default Chapter

Spongebob Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob or any of his friends, so don't sue me!  
  
Spongebob, Patrick, and Sandy were at Goo Lagoon, building sand castles. Sandy brought up the subject that was on everybody's mind. "Have ya'll heard about the Annual Sea Critter Dance? I've heard it's going to be the best one ever!" "Of course we've heard Sandy! And I was wondering-" Spongebob began, but Patrick interrupted. "Hey Sandy, will you go to the dance with me?" "Of course I will Patrick! Now, what were you saying Spongebob?" But Spongebob was gone.  
  
He had run home by that time and was slouching on the couch, drinking can after can of Kelp Kola. "Meow!" asked Gary. "No Gary, nothing's wrong." Spongebob said, depressed. "Meow!" Gary persisted. "It's not fair Gary! I finally get up the nerve to ask Sandy to the dance, but as soon as I'm about to Patrick steals my date!" Spongebob sighed and popped open another can of soda. "Meow!" "You're right Gary! I should be doing something about this! I am not going to stand for this!" Spongebob got up and went into his kitchen to start working on his secret plan.  
  
On the afternoon of the dance, Spongebob called Patrick and told him to come over so he could show him some embarrassing pictures of Squidward. Patrick, laughing, came over right away. When he got to the path to Spongebob's his ice cream senses went on full blast. He followed the trail of ice cream drips into Spongebob's house and followed them down the secret stairs to Spongebob's secret basement, which contained some of his secret stuff. He followed the drips until he realized he was standing on a platform. In front of him was the most delicious looking ice cream sundae he'd ever seen! Suddenly, Spongebob plugged in the thing that Patrick was standing on. He was on a treadmill! He kept running and running, trying to get that ice cream (which by the way was cardboard). While he was doing that, Spongebob snuck upstairs, locked the door, and went into phase two of his plan.  
  
***Sorry, short chapter I know but I want to see if anyone is interested first. Please R&R if you want me to continue. Say whatever, I don't care.*** 


	2. Sqidward Gets a Date (AHHHHH)

Squidward  
  
Squidward is at home playing his clarinet (badly of course, an insult to all us clarinets!)  
  
"Why can't I ever get a date? I'm a perfectly charming, handsome squid! I know! I'll rent-a-date!" So Squidward dialed 1-800-DESPERATE and got an operator. "How much money will you be spending today sir?" she asked. "Whatever I can get with a minimum wage job at the Krusty Krab! And I need it in a hur-" Before Squidward could finish his sentence, the doorbell rang. He opened the door and saw a package sitting there. He quickly ran inside, slamming the door behind him.  
  
He ripped open the box, wondering what his "dream girl" would look like. He finally managed to get the box open and. "Hi Squidward!" "AHHHHH! Spongebob what are you doing inside my package?" "Spongebob? I am not Spongebob! What are you talking about?" Because although it was true that the sponge looked and sounded a lot like Spongebob, the sponge was wearing a dress and some lipstick. "Spongebob, that is the most ridiculous outfit I've ever seen! Now get out of here I'm." *DING DONG* The doorbell again rang before he could finish his sentence. Grumbling, he went to answer it, and there was Spongebob, asking if he could borrow some ice cream cones and pink paint. Squidward slammed the door in his face, then, suddenly realizing what he'd just seen, he opened the door again to find Spongebob still standing there. He did a double take at the girly look-alike who had just come in the mail. Spongebob noticed her too. "Hi! I'm Spongebob Squarepants!" he said. "Hello! My name is Spongemary Hhafhsdjhfhi! It's Killowian for Squaredress!" Squidward finally got over the shock and ran to the kitchen to get Spongebob the stuff he had asked for. Then he shoved Spongebob out the door.  
  
"Ummm. Squidward that was kind of a mean thing to do to Spongemary, and why did you give her my ice cream cones and paint?" Spongebob asked. Squidward groaned, slapped his forehead with one of his tentacles, and went outside to get Spongemary. She was standing there with that silly, buck- toothed smile Spongebob always has. They switched positions and Spongebob ended up outside, but Spongemary still had his stuff. In the confusion that followed, Spongebob finally ended up at his house with his stuff, and Spongemary was standing on her head, blowing bubbles.  
  
"Ummm. wait here and watch TV while I go get ready for the dance," Squidward said to Spongemary. "And stay out of my food!" "Okie dokie Squiddy!" Spongemary said enthusiastically. Squidward went to his room to put on a suit, spray on some 'Fishtacular' cologne, and put on a truly awful toupee'. He walked out of his room to find Spongemary sitting in a hat-box pretending it was a train. "ALL ABOARD FOR THE DANCE!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Will you get out of there!" Squidward yelled in his nasally, stuttering voice. "Now Squidward, why don't you try using your imaginaaaaaaaation," said Spongemary as a rainbow appeared where her hands had made an arc. Squidward sighed and, knowing that this was the only date he'd be able to find, he got another hat-box out of the closet and sat behind her. "So, are we going?" he asked impatiently. "The dance starts in twenty minutes!" But Spongemary, oblivious to what Squidward was saying, had started making train noises. "Choo, choo! Chugga chugga chugga chugga, choo choo!" Squidward had had enough. He grabbed Spongemary's arm and yanked her out of the box. He pushed her out the door and they were on their way to the dance. 


End file.
